How to Get Band 9 in IELTS Task 2 Writing Essay

"Nowadays, people often have to leave their friends and family behind in order to find work. In your opinion, do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?"

Band 9 Sample Essay Answer

In today's world, it is quite common for people to move away from their loved ones to find employment opportunities. While this can be a difficult decision, I believe that the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, leaving family and friends behind can be emotionally challenging. Being away from loved ones can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can negatively affect a person's mental health. Additionally, moving to a new location can be expensive and time-consuming, making it difficult for individuals to adjust to their new surroundings. For some people, the prospect of leaving their family and friends may simply be too difficult, and they may decide to forgo potential job opportunities as a result.

On the other hand, there are several benefits to leaving one's hometown in search of work. Firstly, it can lead to better career prospects and higher salaries. For example, a person may be able to secure a job in a field that is not available in their hometown, or they may be able to find work with a higher salary than they could in their local area. This can lead to greater financial stability and improved quality of life. Additionally, moving to a new location can provide individuals with new experiences and opportunities to learn and grow. It can broaden their horizons and expose them to new cultures and ways of life.

In conclusion, while leaving family and friends behind can be difficult, I believe that the benefits of doing so outweigh the drawbacks. By moving away, individuals can improve their career prospects, increase their earning potential, and gain new experiences that can enrich their lives.

Essay Analysis

This essay would warrant a Band 9 score because it successfully addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a well-developed argument.

Here are examples of the 4 marking criteria:

  • Task Response: The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of leaving family and friends behind to find work. It also provides a clear opinion on which outweighs the other.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-structured with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and a logical flow of ideas. Additionally, the use of transition words and phrases helps to connect ideas and create a smooth reading experience.
  • Lexical Resource: The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary, including both common and academic words, and demonstrates good control over word choice and collocation. There are also no spelling or grammatical errors.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy and complexity, with a variety of sentence structures and well-placed modifiers. There are no errors that impede communication.

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